Tuesday, January 17, 2006
matters of the heart
can you accept your man's inability to cheer you up when you're angry or sad (regardless of the cause of it)?
well, if you're angry or sad and the person closest to your heart isn't able to change that state of emotion to being happy and feel as if nothing had happened before, doesn't that bring him to the status of just a normal friend? (although a friend is capable of doing this as well) i know this is a little too exaggerating, but the fact that the one you love and you believe loves you back has no idea how to cheer you up, does that mean there's this lack of affinity or chemistry or understanding and such? i think it's the same situation as when you're being wronged about something and the whole world doesnt trust you or take your side, including the person dearest to you. it is the most terrible thing to experience.
then comes the difference between whether he bothers to cheer you up or not. i believe he tried and he really doesn't like seeing me sad and stuff...but whether one tried or not, the end result is the same? i am still sad. i am still angry.
and to me, cheering a person up isn't just making that someone laugh or smile. it's about making him/her able to smile at even thinking about the issue that made him/her unhappy in the first place. cuz if it doesn't, that issue will never be resolved and when more things happen, they accumulate and will one day hurt the r'ship.
and hence, the bottom-line of it is...i couldn't accept.
that sets you thinking why i said "couldn't" and not "can't".
because after talking through things, we've decided to take time off each other and give ourselves some breathing space.
but during that one day, i thought about lotsa things; things in general; things in a broader view. and i realised i haven't been good either. i haven't been giving him enough care and love that he deserves. and, i think...the fact that i couldn't get over things after they happen and he couldn't cheer me up is due to my own stubbornness. it's because my pride doesn't allow me to accept the fact that things like those do happen and i should learn to accept it, since it's not about betrayal and stuffs. so i said, i couldn't.
and...we got back together after one day cuz...love is the greatest thing of all, it is the most important thing in a relationship, but not the only thing that matters in the relationship.
so i say, i still believe that God makes things happen for a reason, and that reason will only be known when things happen in the way God wanted it to.
to you: well, but do remember that if you havent done anything that i insist you did, just stick to your honest answers and not try to give me answers that you think i want to hear. :)
6:54 PM
